My Heart Mourns For You
by HikariiKuraii
Summary: Kairi has given up hope for everything. Everyday she was in pain. When she tries to actually find herself, something unexpected happens.
1. Finding Myself

So, I kept listening to 'Never Alone' By The Barlow Girls. When I looked at the lyrics, this idea popped in my head, I began writing and _BAM!_ This is my story.

**ENJOY! AND REVIEW! (: please?**

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**My Heart Mourns For You**

Finding Myself

Chapter 1

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"Please, don't go." Tears came down her face. She held onto the boy's hand.

"I have to go. We don't belong together. I'm-i'm just gonna end up hurting you!"

"No! You won't, we do belong together. If you leave you're breaking your promise!" Her voice cracked a bit.

His face was content, no feelings in his expression or his eyes, "I know..."

He turned to her. She was looking at him with a hurt expression.

"Goodbye…Kairi." He gave her a kiss on the cheek and walked away. Kairi was left there on the bench sobbing. She felt numb. She would never forget this, not ever.

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**One Year later**

_Kairi's POV_

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He left me a year ago, today was my 'anniversary' for my broken heart. He never turned back to take one last glimpse. I told myself this would never haunt me, but it did. I was weak, letting stupid things overcome me. I did my usual routine, get dressed, eat breakfast, brush teeth, and then go to school. I became somber. For the past year I did nothing. Everyone tried to help me, but they never tried hard enough. I thought they were pathetic for helping, but each day I began wondering, maybe if I gave them an actual chance.

Walking to school was a drag. People would try catching up to me. Starting an interesting conversation with me was probably a difficulty for them. They didn't know my interests anymore. I lost touch.

The only person I could trust was my Grandma, but she passed away last spring.

**Flashback**

_My mom and I were at the hospital, sitting by my dying grandmother. She looked so pale and fragile. I silently cried by her side. I couldnt believe she was leaving too. She was the second most important person in my life. Her reassuring hugs and smiles were soon to be memories._

_"Kairi, my dear don't cry." I turned to her._

_"Grandma, I-I don't want you to leave. Please, don't go." Pain was in my voice._

_"I will never leave you." Her hand reached over to mine, she held it to her heart, "My heart will always be with yours. I would never imagine of leaving my sweet grandchild. You are too precious to leave."_

_"Grandma...Is he still in my heart?" _

_"He is indeed. He never left, as you never left his. Even though you don't see him anymore, your heart is with his."_

_Her hands were so cold. I was in pain, "You know. Your right, about everything before...I should never let anything over come me."_

_She smiled a faint smile, "Be strong, even when times get hard." _

**FlashbackOver**

Her last words ran through my head every day. But I did let things over come me, I let her down. The school bell rang from a far. I was going to be late. Again. I didn't care. When I got to the office, they handed me my slip just like everyday.

"Mrs. Kurai, late again. Take your seat." Mr. Stone looked at me with a disappointed face. I seemed to be a disappointment. He began a lecture on China's history of the Great Wall of China. The minutes ticked by like hours.

"Hey, Kairi." It was Riku trying to get my attention.

I turned my head slightly, "What?"

"What are you doing today?"

"Nothing. Why?"

"The gang and I are gonna go to the movies. Wanna tag along?"

I took a moment to think. _I should go, actually give an effort to become my old self. _

For once, I agreed. Riku was quite satisfied with my answer. Oddly enough I began smiling. My day was going by great. Lunch came around and I sat by Namine.

"Kairi!" Namine squealed.

"Hey." I tried starting a conversation, "What movie are we gonna see?"

"We still didn't agree yet."

"I want to see The Dark Knight." Pence blurted out.

"Yeah!" Roxas, Riku, Olette, and Hayner all agreed in unison.

I shrugged, "Why not?"

"HEY! I never got a say in this!" Namine huffed and crossed her arms.

I laughed at her. Everyone looked at me in amazement.

"What? Is there something on my face?"

"No its just…we haven't heard you laugh in a long time. Its really great to have you back." Roxas spoke, what he said really hit me. I haven't heard myself laugh in a while either.

"Yeah, I guess I am my old self again."

After lunch the day became more and more pleasing. I started to sit by my friends again.

"Kairi! Wait up!" It was Olette running to catch up, "Hey, do you want to met up at my house before the movies?"

"Sure. I'll be over after I change."

"Okay. Bye Kairi!" Olette ran off to Hayner. When I saw the look on his face when he saw her, pain shivered through my body. Hot burning tears trickled down my face. I wiped my face and ran.

_Why? Every time, you pop in my head. I HATE YOU!_

I fell to my knees. My hands were holding my face.

I pulled myself together and got ready. I wore a black hoodie with jeans.

I headed towards Olette's house. She only lived two blocks so, no hassle. She was waiting on her porch with Hayner.

"Hey guys." I greeted.

"Hey Kairi." Hayner waved.

"When are they coming?"

"Soon." Olette answered.

Just then Riku and Roxas were around the corner. Roxas raced up to Olette's porch. He seemed happy to see me.

"We're gonna meet Namine at the movie theatre, Pence can't come, he got grounded." Riku sighed, "So let's get going?"

We walked to the theatre. Roxas stood by me, he was staring at the ground.

"So. Kairi, how are you?"

"I'm doing better."

"That's great. We've missed you."

"Really? Thanks."

It was awkward talking. No subject was coming to me, so we just walked in silence again. The theatre was in sight. I could see Namine by the ticket booth. She was waving her hand frantically.

I waved back.

"Kairi! I got your ticket. You don't have to pay me back." Namine smiled and handed me the small piece of paper.

"Thanks Namine."

Namine and I waited for the rest of them to pay for theirs. There weren't many people there. We got good seats. The movie took two and a half hours. But it was worth it.

"WOW!" Riku yelled, "That was fucking awesome!"

"I know I wanna be batman now!" Roxas replied.

"You guys sure are something." I laughed. Then my phone rang the song I'd never expect to hear.

_I waited for you today  
But you didn't show  
No no no  
I needed You today  
So where did You go?  
You told me to call  
Said You'd be there  
And though I haven't seen You  
Are You still there?_

I was stunned, shocked, scarred, and unprepared. Concern looks were surrounding me.

I answered, "Hello?"

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Who could it be? :O

Didja like it? I sure did. To really understand, I think it would be best to listen to the song. 'Never Alone' by the Barlow Girls. Gosh, its sucha a good song. So go! Listen to it!

**REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW!** It's really not that hard.


	2. Unexpected

Here is the chapter you've all been waiting for. I'm actually kinda scared your going to hate the next part. D: Please dont! But when Kairi gets home, I got carried away when describing things, then i thought to myself 'Wait...' lol. Well i hope you like this chapter, I'm disappointed at myself. But eh, you tell me. **REVIEWS!** **PLEASE?!**

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**My Heart Mourns For You**

Chapter two

Unexpected

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"Hello" I answered.

My feet were frozen in its tracks. My mind racing, I had a millions things on my mind. I couldn't believe it.

"K-Kairi?" It was him. I began to cry. I didn't know what to say. So I hung up. I couldn't take it, the pain. It was piercing me. It was too much for me. Namine walked beside me. She knew who it was. And she knew the pain I was in.

She whispered, "Kairi, you can go."

I looked at her, Namine looked sad too. I ran off, not caring about anything. I tried to ignore the pain, but I couldn't. My muscles ached. I didn't know where I was going. Soon I arrived near the dock. The sun was gone, nothing but the moon shone. I quietly walked to the ocean. Sitting down, I grabbed my knees. I began to shed tears.

_After all this time, he calls me back when I try to find myself. I was actually having fun. It's been forever since I've had some fun. I was so caught up in being miserable. It took over me…I couldn't over come it. Just like my grandma said 'Be strong, even when times get hard.' But I haven't been strong I've been weak. I'm pathetic, there not. They tried helping me I denied them. _

I sighed, "Your pathetic."

I kept repeating it to myself, because I was pathetic. I wiped my eyes, and stared vacantly at the ocean.

"You can catch a cold if you stay out here." A voice came from behind me.

I looked back to find Riku heading towards me. He sat down, and stared off too.

"Kairi, I want to help. In any way." He turned. His aqua eyes glimmered with the moonlight.

"I know, and this time. I'm going to let you." I smiled and laid my head on his shoulder. I wanted a new beginning, and I found it, in Riku.

"I think we should go now." Riku said standing up. He held out his hand, I grabbed it and stood up too.

"Yeah my mom and dad are probably worried sick."

We both walked wordlessly to my home. When we arrived at my house, the lights were off and the car was gone. Riku led the way. I fished for my keys, putting them into the lock. It unlocked.

I yelled, "Mom? Dad? Are you home?"

"I'm in here sweetie." My mom's voice was heard barely. She was in the office downstairs.

"Well, goodnight Kairi." He hugged me goodbye.

I smiled, "Sleep well."

He smiled. I closed the door behind him. I ran to the window in the living room, he was looking at it as he walked away. I waved goodbye and left. My tummy growled. My kitchen was cluttered with dishes. I decided to clean it then eat. After all the mess, I made myself food. The fried rice sizzled in the pan. It smelled scrumptious. I made sure to make a lot. The rice was done. I turned off the stove and grabbed a plate. Gently scrapping the rice onto the plate my mom walked in.

"Looks tasty." She replied.

"It should be." I chuckled grabbing a second plate

"Well your father went to one of his buddy's house. So its just us girls."

"Okay, do you want any?"

"Why not?"

I couldn't help but notice my mom's pleased smile.

"Why are you smiling so much?" I asked.

"Its just, y-your different."

I laughed and handed her plate. Taking a bite I heard my phone ring, it was Riku. I smiled and walked into the other room pushing the answer button.

"Hello?"

"Hi Kairi, are you okay?" Riku asked

"Yeah I'm fine."

"Okay, well. Do you wanna walk to school together?" His voice cracked a bit.

"Sure, why not? I'll see you at 7:40?" I replied.

"7:40. Okay. Well night."

"Night."

I was so ecstatic. Some weird feeling came over me. I went back into the kitchen were my mom was. She was sitting near the island watching TV. She was watching 'Sex and they City', that was her favorite show. Sitting next to her she turned.

"So, who was that? Boyfriend?" my mom joked.

"Mom, no. It was just Riku." I retorted.

"Oh, I haven't seen Riku in ages. Why'd he call?"

"He wanted to know if I wanted to walk with him. So maybe tomorrow morning you'll see him."

She nodded, "Alright. Well I'm going to go wash up. I'll be in the library if you need me."

Our house was big. When you walked in, first you see a long hallway leading to various places. To the right you could see spiraling stairs leading to my room. In that room was also a grand piano. To your left was the living room. Going more into the hallway at the end was our laundry room. To the right of the laundry room was our mini library. And straight across from the library, was our kitchen. The door next to the pantry was the staircase leading to the basement and to the right was another staircase leading to my parent's room and our bathroom. There were only 3 bathroom rooms. One was in my room, my parent's room, and our basement. We always had family parties or special occasion parties. It was nice. But it sucked because I was an only child.

My mom walked to her room. I finished eating, cleaning the plate and placing it in the dishwasher. My body ached. I walked slowly to my room.

_Damn this hall is long. _

Soon enough my stairs were in sight. I really don't know why I choose spiral stairs but I did. I thought the idea was cool. Ha, it's a pain sometimes. My room was a mess. Clothes were piled places, CDs were out of their cases lying near my stereo, my bed looked like a little kid jumped on it, and my bathroom door was being blocked with towels.

I sighed, "My god, I need to clean my room."

I grabbed all the clothes on the floor, putting the dirty ones in the laundry shoot, folding the clean ones and putting them away. It was starting to look better. I then put the CDs back in their cases. After I made my bed. My floor was visible and my bed looked good. My bathroom on the other did not. My counter was filled with make up products, cleaners, lotions and such. I cleaned everything. Quite satisfied, when my room was cleaned you could see how calming it was. My walls were a soft coral with white vertical stripes. My furniture was white with vintage designs. I loved my room.

I lied on my bed exhausted. My computer dinged, I slumped up. It was from Namine.

_NamineX3: Are you okay?_

_Kuraiiiii: Yeah, I'm better_

_NamineX3: That's good. I was worried…_

_Kuraiiiii: You shouldn't worry. I know how to take care of myself. _

_NamineX3: I know, but…_

_Kuraiiiii: Namine! Please. I. Am. Fine. No worries geeze._

_NamineX3: I'm sorry, don't be mad. _

_Kuraiiiii: No, I'm not mad, but no I am. Because your worrying, just leave me alone. D:_

I signed off, I was mad now. _She doesn't have to worry. I know how to take care of myself. Now she's probably mad at me. Whatever. _I hopped in my bed still in my day clothes. I was too lazy to change. I soon fell asleep.

_My dream left me breathless..._

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WELL?

:O Kairi's into Riku?! I bet you were all thinking it was Roxas. But I accidentally gave off the wrong signal, sorry. :3 But...DIDJA LIKE IT?! I hope so, chapter 3 will take me a while so maybe sometime next week? Okay, now I want you to...

**REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW!**


	3. Breathe,

I finally updated, but it's way shorter than the average writing for me. Well, i hope you like it though. And remember what you have to do at the end.

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**My Heart Mourns For You**

Breathe,

Chapter 3

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My dream was unlike everything I had. I was having a flashback, but only…I wasn't me; I was someone else watching. Make much sense? I didn't think so. I woke up hot and sweaty. It was 3 in the morning. The hallway lights were on, my dad was getting ready to leave for his flight.

He was going to Radiant Garden for a business trip. He worked for a design company, so he wasn't home a lot. Anyway, I got up and went downstairs to find my father sitting drinking coffee.

"Morning sweet-heart; why up so early?" He asked while taking a sip.

"I couldn't sleep. I'm just gonna stay up." I replied sitting down next to him.

"But you have school today, don't you?"

"Yeah, but I don't feel like going."

"Alright, then…" he sighed, "Well, my cab's going to be here soon. I'll see you and your mother next week. Bye honey."

"Bye dad, have fun at your business trip. Bring me back something?"

"Like always." He kissed my forehead and proceeded to the door with his suitcases.

I could hear the car door shut and the cab drive off. I laid there thinking about my dream. It was just so weird. Eventually I feel asleep.

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"Sweetie, Get up. You don't look well." A soft voice awoke me, it was my mother.

"Hi mom." My voice cracked.

"Riku just came by, I told him that you're not going to school."

"Oh thanks mom."

"Now, you'll need some soup. Your forehead is hot. I might have to take your temperature."

My mother ran off to make me some soup. I was over heating and coughing like crazy. Then in a faint sound, I could hear my phone ring. I was too tired to get it, but I somehow managed.

It was a restricted call but I still answered.

"Hello?" I spoke.

"K-K-Kairi?"

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Sorry for the shortness...But i haven't updated in such a long time, i wanted to be nice and give you more of the story. I promise I'll try harder to update more often. Hope you enjoy this. (:

**REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW!**


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